The earliest that I remember are the words of advice from my father"bend till your back breaks"!Yes,I tried following it wherever necessary though people who were very close to me,with whom I felt that I could take liberties would not have had occasions to have known this docile side of mine.I tried to hold my head high when events bogged me down.I did not let others see when my heart cried miserably.I gave my shoulders for others to cry upon but failed to share my innermost insecurities with anyone.
As years have rolled on,six decades of an existence where I have no one to turn to,I now feel the loneliness, the terrible burden that I have carried all by myself are now too cumbersome to carry on my own.Is it worth all that trouble of having been too proud to show the world that I had my share of woes,my weaknesses?Many harsh remarks were thrown,heartless,thoughtless attitudes tried to drown me in deep seas of depression.Yet I managed to float.I put up with harshness but tried to be understanding.Did I get appreciation?Alas,no,even the closest dear ones do not seem even to acknowledge that I did it all for them.I was "strong"so that their weaknessses could go undetected wherever and whenever possible.I tried to correct situations hopelessly gone wrong for them ,bore the brunt of their misdeeds and failures.Trusting in the One above,I carved out what I thought was best for them.Yet today,they seem immensely proud of their individual achievements,yes,they are all achievers,basking in the glory of their "self made" destinies.
Nothing is lost.The will is still strong and undaunted by insincerities,irreverence and apathy.The prayers are still to reach my destination ,as I have been all these years-honest,righteous and proud.Will I be?
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