Xmas

   

      X mas! A great time not just for those celebrating but even the ones who stand by observing, get  into a joyous frame of mind.   Deepavali, the festival of lights,celebrated by millions noisily bursting fire crackers,exchanging gifts,new clothes,does bring in cheers. The month of Ramadan ,when Muslims all over the world,fast with fervour, break their fast in the evenings and get ready for Eid .With colourful wayside stalls selling various mouth watering delicacies and  people busy shopping for the month end celebrations ,roads wear festive looks .

But Xmas holds a special charm for me. Maybe the time of the year in India, cold weather ,mostly bearable and pleasant, adds to the cheer.Maybe the childhood memories of those cab rides with appa,who took us all to town to see the decorative Xmas lights. Though visibly there  are no special groups of people ,for whom this is a special occasion,there  is gaiety everywhere,it seems  that the whole world  rejoices.It  is not just a day of celebration ,when the Christians of the world welcome this day as the birthday of their Saviour.This is universal. This is a season of celebration.

At first Santa was a fantasy. There was an awe.Then came the "knowledge" that he was not real.Anyway, he was not part of our childhood days. Later ,I wanted my children to know him.And he became a yearly ritual till they realised  that he was a childhood fancy, it was their parents and not Santa bringing them what they wanted.It usually was holiday time and we would create with limited resources, the Nativity scene,year after year,decorated a Christmas tree,hung a star at the main entrance.There was so much enthusiasm-each year we got more inputs,our ideas became wilder.Looking back ,I think I enjoyed this ritual more than the kids.Slowly, we had to give this up for want of facilities(!!).No, we realised that this was not "our"tradition.All of us matured enough to know,that we should be content with seeing decorations of neighbours and at public places.

As days passed by ,even going out became very difficult.To weave through the heavy traffic,to find a parking place,  to walk amidst jostling crowds and then to find a calm, cosy place in a restaurant  to spend the rest of the evening  drowning in the festivities-all became too difficult.We  began preferring staying at home,watching special  TV programmes for Xmas( more movies,mostly repetitive).But in my mind there is happiness.I feel the solemnity around me and I contentedly settle in my surroundings, enjoying the aura of Xmas. 

DAUGHTER in law

    

      I thoroughly enjoy an advertisement featuring a mother in law  and daughter in law talking to each other, acidically but with humour,showing an underlying affection and understanding.I am bored of serials showing the same relationship in a manner that I cannot understand, scheming women, bitterness,jealousy,never ending conflicts,barbed comments against each other.And the serials are popular ! Maybe,I muse,there must be such soured relationships everywhere and people are able to relate to such characters.

I am not someone unique but my daughter in law is my youngest child,so I think.There might have been a thousand tussles but where and when are two human beings ever together without minor misunderstandings?Between a mother and daughter,between sisters,between close friends?So have we had ,we have always come together with greater understanding .This I attribute to the fondness I have for her, my child , bringing so much of happiness to my other child,my son.I remember how wary I was in the beginning, the turmoils in the family at that time, the million worries I had about how successful their marriage was going to be.They had their tug of wars too before settling into a calm,steady relationship ,totally content with each other and having that beautiful baby girl to complete their  union.Seeing them in their contented togetherness ,I feel blessed and thank God for giving me another daughter. All the time.

As I grow older ,I realise more and more that each relationship can be better with a constant desire to make it so.I see around me disappointments,heartbreaks, sadness, loneliness amidst a house filled with apathetic relatives.I remember the days, when I myself went through such trauma , not able to bear indifference though I showered my affection on everyone around me,anyone that mattered. Expecting reciprocation.I now recognise the fact that each individual differs on perceptions on life,what they deem is right attitude towards others and when one moves in with total strangers ,to come to terms with  the other's point of view is challenging. By the time  one stabilises, damage is done.Relationships sour.

I think when I had had my enlightenment on this,my daughter in law walked into my life.I could not see her as anything else but my daughter.My youngest child.We have a long way to go together but the toughest journey, I presume , is over.Yea, I want our relationship to continue as is shown in my favourite advertisement.